Supporting your teen through Year 12 HSC stress
The final year of high school is both an exciting and scary time for teens and their families. Independence is growing and their social calendars may be filled with 18th birthdays and going out with friends (exciting for them but scary for parents!). However, it is also a year that can be filled with immense stress, anxiety and pressure. They may be trying to figure out what career or education pathway they want to take (there’s just so many options). It often seems like so much weight is placed on these final assessments and exams, feeling like their future depends on it.
As a parent, you’re also probably feeling this anxiety with and for them. You want them to do their best and reach their goals, while also just wanting them to just survive this final year and move on. Which brings us to this question of, what in the world can we do to support them? You can’t study for them, you can’t complete their assessment or sit their exam for them, but here are some things that you can do to support them through this intense time.
Listen, connect and validate
Sometimes when we hear our teen express their stress it’s easy to fall into the trap of problem-solving mode. We want to support them by giving them suggestions or ideas. However, this can often have the opposite effect and lead to a response of annoyance and anger. Teens have had many years of schooling and know what they need to do but it’s the feelings that are difficult to manage. Next time, rather than problem solve sit and listen to them. Connect with them by noticing and identifying their feelings; “this assignment is really stressing you out”, “your feeling overwhelmed because you have so many exams close together”, “it looks like you’re really worried about doing well in this class”. By doing this you are validating their feelings and helping them feel understood.
Encourage time for self-care and enjoyable activities
Your teen may find this hard to believe, but self-care is just as important as studying. Your brain can’t think clearly when it is stressed or overwhelmed. Therefore, it’s important to take the time to do enjoyable activities, hang out with friends and have fun! By doing this you’re making sure your brain has the ability to focus on schoolwork when it needs to.
Be patient and cut them some slack
Times of high stress and pressure will likely lead to increased outbursts of anger, frustration, annoyance and attitude. Try not to take these moments to heart, be patient and diffuse these moments by providing space, love and care. This high stress is temporary, and it will pass.
A note on wellbeing:
Academic stress can lead to significant impacts to stress and mood. If you are concerned about your teens wellbeing seek professional support. You can speak to your GP or contact us at See Hear Speak Psychology to see a Child Psychologist who can support you. We work with many families across Newcastle and Lake Macquarie.
Additional Resources
HSC help for parents and carers (nsw.gov.au)
Kids Helpline | Phone Counselling Service | 1800 55 1800
Written by Helena Predojevic